The Masks we Wear

How are spiders able to do such intricate work?

I'm a pretty "news-avoidant" person.  I don't get into talking about politics, media sensation of the day, what celebrities are doing, any of that.  One of the reasons I started this blog was so that I could start to synthesize my personal thoughts on a topic rather than rely on the one-sided reporting of some organization or group.  You may have noticed people wearing masks these days.  It may be in response to a virus outbreak but I also think that we have all been wearing masks for years.

 

As far as wearing masks in response to the virus…you do you.  I'm not sure you need it when you're driving in your car alone but if you feel better about yourself for doing that, that's fine.

 

I'm more talking about how we show a different side of ourselves depending on the situation.  I love the whole psychology area that talks about personalities.  From the first time I took the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI)inventory (it's not a test because there are no right or wrong answers), and learned about the preferences, I was hooked.  The first time I received my results I was shown to be an ESTJ. 

• Extroverted - Getting energy from other people
• Sensing - Views the world through the 5 senses
• Thinking - Is very logical
• Judging - Prefers a step-by-step approach

 

While some of those things may be true, others are simply not.  I was looking at the items in the inventory as how I thought the people that I worked for wanted me to be.  Clearly, the Extroverts run the world.  Honestly, I prefer a few close friendships to wanting to host a party for everyone that I have had a casual acquaintance with.  But being young and wanting to move up the career ladder, I felt like I needed to be on the side of what was expected for leaders. 

 

What I found was that there was plenty of value in taking the MBTI more than once, as well as having discussions with people that will push back on what appear to be inconsistencies.  I was lucky enough to have a person, Anna Tansi,  that did that for me.  While there were many conversations about what seemed to be actions that were not in line with my reported Type, the biggest learning I got from that was to question the results.  Here was a process that I was answering myself and I was not even being honest enough with my answers to use the results correctly. 

 

Don't get me wrong, there is still value in seeing yourself differently in different situations.  I believe with most, if not all, of the "Personality" profiles, we can find ourselves seeing actions that we do consistently that are not in accordance with that "Type".  It may be how we are expected to be at work, with friends, at social events.  There are forces that push us to be other than where we prefer.  One of Anna's quotes that has stuck with me has been, "Each personality type is like a sweater.  While you can wear any of them, there is one that fits better than the others.  That is your preferred personality." 

 

Since then, I have been looking at how I act in certain situations and assessed my reaction:

• Does this feel natural?
• Am I acting the way I think others want me to act?
• Do I feel like I need a shower because this just "feels" yucky!?

 

And the more honest I am with myself, the less stressed I feel.  I think it takes a lot of energy to be someone that we are not.  To save some of your energy, just be yourself.  You may need a mask for this crazy virus but being you does not require anything!