I just finished listening to Daniel Kahneman's book Thinking Fast and Slow. (Great book that I highly recommend!) In there, he talks about how there are 2 things that we remember most about events. The Peak Remembrance and the Last Remembrance. And it's the difference between those 2 points that shape our overall impression of the event. In other words, if you have a really great peak experience (you're feeling really good) and it ends quickly (you get back to reality in a short time), then your overall memories of the event will be really good. There is a small difference between the Peak Experience and the Last Experience.
This goes for bad experiences as well. In the book, Kahneman talks about experiments where people put their hands in bowls of ice water and rate the experience. The ones that hold their hand in for a minute and just pull it out at the end are compared to those that have the water slowly heated up before removing their hands. The ones that have the water heated slowly recall the experience as "not as bad" as the ones that ended it quickly.
How can we use this information?
In the case of good events such as vacation, I look at the whole experience. Is there something that I can do in the time that it takes to get back that is going to make it more enjoyable?
- Loading up on podcasts or e-books to pass the time
- Try to get a direct flight home (or at least make the last leg of the flight the longest part of flying)
- Have your car ready to go once you land (using a parking service that ensures that your car starts and is cleaned off if you are in winter climates)
- Be prepared for your arrival home (have something that you can cook or eat without having to go to the store)
- Relive the great times of your vacation as you are traveling to keep the Peak Experiences fresh
For painful events, you'll want to do the opposite. You want to do things that put distance between the Peak (in this case painful) Experience and your Last Experience.
- Find a way to lessen the pain slowly - it may feel like torture at the time but it will improve your recollection of the event
- Extend your entire experience - if you are having surgery and need rehab afterward, include that as part of what you remember of the entire event
Events themselves are neither good nor bad, it's how we choose to remember them that labels them as such.
Interesting! Is there anything about the book specifically about the time FOLLOWING the vacation? I recently returned from a great long weekend trip, but then I had a really terrible week after! I had way too much to do, no time to do it, I felt totally overwhelmed with life and it just has been disappointing, that after such a fantastic trip I couldn't hang on to more of those feelings. I guess at the moment I don't feel that these more "negative" days after the trip are affecting my fond memories OF the trip itself, but I think it might ultimately taint my view of travel in general (or maybe turn me off to similar "weekend" trips, where I might not have time off after to re-group). In my case, thinking about it, I should probably have made more of a point to clear my evenings in the days after the trip somehow, to ease the transition (i.e.- don't plan to drive the swim team carpool the first day home (which ate up my entire evening) and definitely don't host a small birthday gathering two days after).
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