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| A recent walk on this path prompted my thinking about today's topic. |
Over the past 3 years or so, I have changed my response to “how are you?” I am no longer busy. Does this mean that I am no longer doing anything? Not at all. Having things to do is a normal part of life. We all have things that we need to do. I recently heard Susan David on Armchair Expert explain “busy” as a Meta-emotion. A meta-emotion is one that encompasses other emotions. That means that busy is:
Stress-from having several meetings to prepare for and attend
Anxiety-from not knowing if how we will get through this quarantine
Anticipation-of having time with friends and family
Sorrow-thinking about the loss of time or loved ones
Desire-to be able to go anywhere we want without health restrictions
Excitement-for new people or items in our lives
Boredom-from not wanting to get off the couch
Grateful-for the nouns (people, places, things and ideas) in our lives.
When we are feeling all of these emotions at the same time, it’s easy to feel like life is moving at a million miles per hour. Having the ability to slow down and experience each emotion separately allows us to identify which emotion is most pressing at the moment. Each emotion is important but needs to be handled in a different manner. Allowing ourselves to try and deal with all emotions at once, in the same way, will cause us to be “busy.”
My suggestion would be to step back and not see the forest but look at each of the trees that make up the forest.
How is each of the trees showing up? Can you deal with each tree individually? If you are walking through a forest how would you do that? You would pass by each tree individually. So let’s handle our emotions individually.
When someone asks you “how are you?” take a moment and assess yourself to determine which emotion is “leading” your life. If you can get a handle on that emotion (good or bad) it will allow you to work on other emotions that you may be experiencing as well.
It’s been said that Stress (and Anxiety) is about living in the future and Depression (or Regret) is about living in the past. To be happy is to be in the present. I believe we need to not forget our past or only think about the future but we need to learn from our past and plan ahead. Keeping that in mind will help us to live a meaningful life.
Don’t be busy; be aware of what you are feeling.
